Number 10: You shall not covet
Do you find yourself gazing longingly at your neighbour’s donkey? You might have a problem. Because you shall not covet. Exodus 20:15: “You shall not covet your neighbour’s house; you shall not covet your neighbour’s wife, nor his male servant, nor his female servant, nor his ox, nor his donkey, nor anything that is your neighbour’s.” […]
Number 9: You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
Well, apparently telling the truth doesn’t come naturally to Christians either. It has to be spelled out in the 9th commandment. Exodus 20:15: “You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour.” We can’t just tell whatever wild story pops into our heads to make ourselves look better or ruin someone’s reputation? What a shocker! […]
Number 8: You shall not steal
Much like the 7th commandment (thou shall not commit adultery), this one basically says “keep your grubby paws of shit that isn’t yours”. Exodus 20:15: “You shall not steal.” It should go without saying that if it doesn’t belong to you, don’t take it. But apparently, for those who follow Christianity, it does need to be […]
Number 7: You shall not commit adultery
News flash: apparently God frowns upon people shagging around on their significant others. Well, duh. Exodus 20:14: “You shall not commit adultery.” Of course the biblical brief is that you shouldn’t be bumping uglies at all unless you are married, but that’s a whole other story. Interestingly, it is often the politicians and televangelists who preach […]
Number 6: You shall not murder
Do you REALLY need an edict from God to tell us not to kill people? Exodus 20:13: “You shall not murder.” This is the shortest of all the commandments: God forbids murder, the unlawful taking of human life in private vengeance or otherwise. How, well … groundbreaking? You shouldn’t need a book, a sky fairy or […]
Number 5: Honour your father and your mother
Because, of course, they always know best, right? It’s not like they’ve fucked the planet and cooked the housing market, is it? Yes, that was sarcasm. *Rolls eyes* Exodus 20:12: “Honour your father and your mother, that your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God is giving you.” If you look […]
Number 4: Keep the Sabbath day holy
Ah, the 4th commandment — an ancient reminder that we’re meant to clock out on the seventh day, put our feet up and do a whole lot of nothing. Exodus 20:8-11: “Remember the Sabbath day, to keep it holy. Six days you shall labor and do all your work, but the seventh day is the Sabbath […]
Number 3: You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain
Apparently the big dude doesn’t like it when you invoke his name in “vain”. Saying OMG or its variations are deemed a bit naughty and are likely to get you in his bad books. You might even be subjected a smite or two. Whatever the hell that might be. Exodus 20:7: “You shall not take the […]