The 10 decidedly complicated rules are set out in the Big Book of Shagging, Smiting and Slaying.
Now, I’m not saying this God dude is a narcissist or a party pooper, but he deffo likes to be the centre of attention and does not like seeing anyone enjoy themselves. OK, well perhaps I am saying he’s a narcissistic party pooper.
Click on the links below to learn more about the 10 “don’t’ do this shit” rules.
1st Commandment:
You shall have no other gods before Me
Remember what I said about him being an attention whore?
2nd Commandment:
You shall make no idols
Beware false gods and don’t worship material shit.
3rd Commandment:
You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain
Shhhh … he’s listening.
4th Commandment:
Keep the Sabbath day holy
Have a day off …
5th Commandment:
Honour your father and your mother
Be nice to your parents. If you feel like it.
6th Commandment:
You shall not murder
It goes without saying, surely?
7th Commandment:
You shall not commit adultery
Don’t go poking your bits where they shouldn’t be.
8th Commandment:
You shall not steal
And don’t take shit that doesn’t belong to you.
9th Commandment:
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbour
Don’t tell porkies.
10th Commandment:
You shall not covet
Ooh, jealous much?